The relationship between sex and love can be explained following this scheme. Sex, separated from its conscious correlates, sex as instinct, obeys the pleasure principle. Under these conditions, sexual tension leads to an immediate attempt to release it with the nearest available person. But when love enters the picture, the reality principle comes into play.
Knowing love, the individual knows that the pleasure of sexual release can be increased by certain sexual objects and diminished by others. Therefore, he or she often hesitates to act, consciously repressing the release of sexual tension while waiting for a more favorable situation—that is, obviously, a person he or she can love.
One of the main functions of love is to emphasize selectivity and discrimination in the choice of sexual partner for the sake of greater pleasure. The pursuit of a particular individual sharpens one’s awareness of that person and makes one more sensitive to the love and presence of the partner upon whom it is poured.
Love can be expressed both spiritually and physically. One form does not eliminate the other. Typically, the two types of expression complement each other. In a healthy person, the spiritual expression of love creates tension that is released in some physical act of love. The pleasure this action provides heightens consciousness and spirituality. Each form leads to the other and makes it a more meaningful experience.